Personal Growth 101
After the launch of the program and putting myself out there last week, I was feeling fragile AF.
Fear, joy, proudness, overwhelm, you name it, I felt it ✔️
So when I read what I felt like was an undermining comment, I got triggered 6 ways to Sunday and started overthinking (no, the irony is not lost on me ?) my leap in my Self and my business.
SIDE NOTE
Now, I know that this is not such a “bad” comment and definitely not the worst I’ve gotten or will get, BUT, invalidating how I felt or trying to see it “logically” (you’re just being too emotional Lina, jeez), doesn’t get to the core of things and actually harms you when you’re trying to make sense of your life experience and wish to navigate life with joy and enthusiasm.
Just think of the parallel reality we would have lived if Trump had done his personal growth work … but I digress.
Here is the gist’s of WHAT I was feeling from a victim state:
- I felt disappointed because I work hard at creating quality content ✨, and I felt that my work wasn’t being appreciated.
- I was annoyed because I felt -but I wasn’t sure- that he had made the comment without even watching the video or reading the post.
- And, I was hurt and pissed because I felt that he was totally being condescending, reverse undermining me by indirectly questioning whether there is something wrong with me.
And so, after bitching (major cuss words and snazzy insults were used) about him to my girlfriends, I responded with a passive-aggressive comment ?
The next day, once my initial hurt had subsided, I still felt negative lingering feelings (trigger residue I call it), so I sat down to make sense of this experience because I know from my work that negative feelings are simply beliefs that are limiting my growth and my expansion and ultimately, my joie de vivre.
Also, I understand that: “I get back what I put out” –Universal law #4
So I don’t want to stay in an ornery / victimy energy, because I’ll just be faced with other similar situations.
So now here is where the fun starts!
Because I must believe that there’s some truth to the comment, or else it wouldn’t have triggered me, I asked myself the 2 fundamental personal growth questions that are used when wanting to release limiting beliefs:
#1. What must I believe to be true about myself and this comment?
Here’s what I came up with:
- I was disappointed because I do often think that I don’t do enough (hum, undermining myself much ??)
- I was annoyed because I do believe that most people only skim read stuff (posts, emails…), and often post snarky comments from “the peanut gallery” perspective.
- And I was hurt because I remembered when I was a kid my dad saying: “What’s the matter with you?” when I would do something “wrong”. Well, ding dong on the recurrent undermining (doubting) pattern in me!
- Am I wrong to do this?
- Am I wrong when I do that?
- Am I wrong to want this?
ANOTHER SIDE NOTE
I love my dad, we have a great relationship, and I feel that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way my parent’s raised me.
The world’s fucked-up-ness is just because we don’t understand our Selves or how consciousness works.
Insert sale’s pitch here ! LMAO
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Ok, back to the crux of my story!
ALL of these emotions it turns out, tie back for me to the core belief that I’m shit scared of being shunned for expressing my true Self.
And so, this is exactly a version of what played out in my “outside” reality!! Tah da!
Once I had dumped everything on paper and I was better able to decipher my feelings, I asked myself the second fundamental personal growth question:
#2. Are any of these beliefs ultimately true?
The answer here is always NO.
Why? Because all truths are true and subjective -but that’s a lesson for the program ;), so:
- Is it ultimately true that I don’t do enough? No! Because well, how much is enough anyway? Will I ever be done? Who sets the standard for my life experience? The people on the internet? Insert big a LOL here.
- Is it ultimately true that most people don’t really take the time to read stuff nowadays? Nope, that’s not ultimately true either. I know of plenty of people who read “everything.” Like lawyers, my mom, content creators like me, my friend Emily <3, journalists…
- Is it ultimately true that there’s something “the matter with me?”. Um, hell no. Period. No justification needed here. My dad just wanted an explanation for my behaviour (boy, can I explain my shit thoroughly today or what, huh? huh?)
And so you see, life is really what you make of it.
This comment had the potential of leading me in a downward spiral, but I used it to boost my self-confidence and clean up some vibrational dirt instead!
I decided to use it to grow and increase my feelings of well-being <3
AND the best part is that, WITHIN MINUTES !!! (I cannot put enough exclamation marks here) of figuring all this out, I got this comment back:
Now this comment did NOT trigger me in the least (and so, there are no limiting beliefs that I need to look at! Woop woop :P), in fact, it made me feel ELATED <3.
Elated because it was oh so PERFECTLY synchronized, and elated because I now KNOW for a fact that he didn’t watch or read my post because there are a few things I felt during the making of that video, but none of them were sadness! The sadness that he “saw” in me, was simply a reflection of his own state (read that last comment again).
Ahhh, wasn’t this the perfect learning experience?
This is life ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
REMEMBER:
Life gives you what you need, in order to get what you want.
Life is an endless stream of well being.
Life is a reflection of your beliefs, thoughts and emotions.
YOU decide what you want things to mean!
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